The correspondence of Apartment 5402 in exile

Alex
Julia
Rita
Becky


Thursday, November 20, 2008

Gamer

Former Inhabitants of 5402:

Whenever the general topic of education, especially public education, is raised, I am strangely unable to come up with a coherent position on any part of the issue. I think my reluctance to take sides on any of the relevant points may come from spending nearly my entire life surrounded by teachers. Nonetheless, I went to school for 16 years, public and then private, I pay taxes that go toward the public schools where I live, and my life is full of people who work in schools, so I obviously have at least a personal basis for an (anecdotal) point of view.

My experience with "the game" was slightly different than all of yours. In high school, to the horror (and I think secretly the pride) of my parents, I not only didn't play the game, but I refused to do anything I thought might even be related to playing the game. I was in no clubs, I didn't stick with any sports for more than two seasons, I did not cultivate relationships with any teachers, and I refused to study for the SATs. "The SATs should be a measure of how much you know, not how much you can memorize right before you take them," I argued. "Colleges should decide whether they want to accept me based on who I actually am, not based on clubs I don't care about padding my resume!" I was a fucking brat.

Obviously I did fine in school. I got mostly A's. I took a few AP classes, although I uncharacteristically bombed one of the tests and didn't get credit in college. I finished in the top 10% in my class (barely). I did well on my first try on the SATs. And despite my anemic resume, I got in early to the U of C, which was the only college I had any interest in. I don't know if that means I fit perfectly into a certain slot in the whole applying-to-college scenario just as I was, and thus didn't need to play the game, or that I got lucky. I think I got lucky.

In college, I absolutely failed to play the game. Julia, I think you probably did a slightly better job than me. At least you wrote a BA. The difference in college from high school was that while I knew I should go to office hours and cultivate a relationship with professors and form a particular academic interest, and I didn't resent those necessities like I did in high school, I totally never did them. For one, I was very much put in my place about my academic abilities as soon as I got to college, and I was shy about that. For another, I am kind of lazy. But also, not playing the game didn't hurt me the first time I didn't do it, so what the hell.

Now, post-college, I have a job that I like (although with no prestige or advancement opportunities) and a plan for what's next and a fear that upon applying to law school I will finally be bitten in the ass by my utter refusal/fear/failure to participate in the game at all.

I don't know where my experience fits given Rita's connected points about the wisdom of gaming a shitty system in order to escape it and not gaming a good system. My high school was okay (Michelle says it was good for New Hamphire, mediocre for the country). I was occasionally inspired in high school, and I grew to really like studying in college. Maybe I played the game enough to succeed just by having involved parents, a natural affinity for standardized tests and a family with enough money to help me go to college wherever I wanted to go.

Non sequiturs: 1) I have been influenced significantly by each of you, and 2) I changed my mind about what I would do all day if I didn't have a job: I would totally watch soap operas. The questions is, could I accomplish brilliant things while keeping up with the twists and turns of General Hospital?

9 Comments:

Blogger Sophie said...

You guys say interesting things sometimes. Is it ok that I read about them, I feel like I am sort of spying but I mean I guess this a blog and thus made for that purpose? OK, I just wanted to confess.
-Becky's little sister

23:05  
Blogger Alex said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

07:28  
Blogger Becky said...

Yes, and then we might start fighting and abandon this totally fun blogging thing. Read and comment!

08:33  
Blogger Alex said...

Hi Sophie! You should definitely read and comment...we are going to get antsy just talking amongst ourselves so

08:43  
Blogger Julia said...

Becky, you are totally my idol. You never play the game, and yet everything works out! And I'm sure it will keep working out. Jealous.

08:59  
Blogger Becky said...

I hope so, but I have this horrible little feeling that one day I will hit a wall and I will look back on all the things I could have done to help myself and be full of regret...

09:58  
Blogger Alex said...

I have that same feeling about how messy and unorganized I am...that some day my world is going to come crashing down around me. I never kept a class folder past October of the academic year. So far it's been ok...

10:22  
Blogger Miss Self-Important said...

But since everyone resents or claims to resent the game and its players (for example, the universal animosity toward a certain serial hand-shaking classmate of ours), and everyone respects the people who are not craven enough to succumb to the game, is it possible that not playing the game is also a way of playing the game? Becky? Thoughts?

11:14  
Blogger Becky said...

Yes, that is possible. But isn't it also possible that some people who appear to be playing the game are actually just like that? And in general those people are more successful, so everyone tries to be more like them, and then the world is full of serial hand-shaking phonies.

14:21  

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