Sacrificing my mani-pedi

Hello former roommies,

This is SO exciting!

So, I've just moved into my large apartment on Connecticut Avenue, where I am occupying the master bedroom, which comes with a walk-in closet and its own bathroom. My aunt also gave me $100 in cash yesterday, to help with my grocery bill. So it seems an odd time for me to write about the thrifty person that I've grown in to. (But if not now, when? Rita may kill me before then.)

Unlike all of you, I did NOT inherit my current financial outlook. Despite earning relatively little money and having basically no savings, my immediate family is not thrifty in the least. I grew up going out to eat all the time and getting nice jewelery as birthday presents. It's only in the past few years that I've started to understand money and recognize how dangerous this behavior is. My mom and my grandmother really like things and the satisfaction that comes from surrounding themselves in those things is worth more to them than financial security. I guess. It puzzles (and worries) me, and I got some insight into this psychology recently when I wanted to buy a $300 leather bag that was on sale for $80. I thought it was a good deal, but it was also more than I should have been spending on bags, considering I was unemployed at the time. When I asked my mom if it was irresponsible to spend almost $100 on a bag, she said, "Well, but you have the $100 now, and in the future, you might not have the money, but you'll have the bag." This is not a money ethic that facilitates saving.

Since the above philosophy is not one that I support, but this is the first time I'm earning a salary where I'm expected to save money, my views are still evolving. I have possibly gone to the other extreme and become downright cheap. I'm obsessive about bringing my lunch to work so as not to spend money, and I've taken the NYTimes advice to heart and almost never buy coffee. None of the furniture in my room matches, but since it was all left behind by a girl who seemingly fled to Peru, I'm happy with the way it is. I borrowed sheets and towels from my aunt for a week to hold me over till my mom comes up to DC with all the old ones from the house. I even started walking to a farther metro stop from my job, to save myself the 15 cents on my commute home.

This kind of thriftiness seems unsustainable to me, though. I think I'm motivated by being in a new situation and the excitement of getting a large paycheck every week, that I just can't bear to part with. But it requires forethought and mental energy, and I can see it becoming less important to me if and when I get wrapped up with other things.

What was instilled in me was the great joy of finding bargains. I don't like shopping at H&M or Forever 21, even though they have inexpensive clothes, because I hate paying full price for anything. I prefer going to Marshall's or TJ Maxx and digging through the clearance rack to find something that originally cost $80 on sale for $14.99. But I don't think this stems from a desire to be thrifty; it just makes me feel like I've gotten away with something because other people had to pay 5x what I paid. (Although I'm sure the knowledge that these people make at least 5x my salary gives them that same warm feeling of satisfaction.) The thing about this kind of shopping though, is that it requires time, a car, and a suburb, things that are not always available to me. Convenience has a price, and, like taking the further metro stop, bargain shopping could become more of a burden than it's worth, depending on my lifestyle.

Last year, living in Madrid, I didn't save any money. My travel style was about as frugal as it could be (well, maybe not our trip in London, Julia...) but it still costs a lot of money to go to a new city every couple weeks. And I spent a lot of money going out, eating at restaurants, and drinking in bars. It didn't seem worth sacrificing any part of the experience for the sake of saving money, and I don't regret that. Some of the Fulbrighters tried really hard to save their Euros and turn them into lots of dollars, and let me tell you, those people did not make good drinking buddies.

On the whole though, I have made some important changes. I don't buy things just because I want them and they are pretty, and I can make do with hand-me-downs now. I don't have any credit card debt and I've been squirreling away more than 10% of my pay-check. The only indulgence I have that I can think of is my shampoo and conditioner. (My hair is really difficult!) I agree with you Becky, that many mini-crises can be solved with good financial planning. My first month in Madrid, when I hated my apartment and decided to move, I knew that I might lose my security deposit. I didn't, and it would have sucked if I had, but I knew that I could afford to do that to get myself out of a bad situation. And Rita, I don't agree that I'm saving for a nebulous future. I'm saving for A LOT of specific things: to travel, to buy a house, to retire, and to be able to afford to be comfortably generous with family and friends in the future. I save for those reasons, and not because saving is a virtue in and of itself. The last item in particular, because it is not a "lame material wish-fulfillment" is the most important to me.

I still don't have definite ideas about what money is worth to me, and it's something I struggle with. Thrift is not a value that was instilled in me, but I know it's important, so I'm learning to incorporate it without going overboard. Luckily, trendy, expensive things annoy me, and I'm quite happy to eat $5 Crisp and Juicy Peruvian chicken.

XOXO,
Alex