thrifty vs. cheap.

Hello ex-roomies,

Thrift is, I think, an excellent subject for us to start with, if only because it was you, Rita, who first introduced me to cheapness as an art form. You were, and possibly still are, the thriftiest person I know. I can't think of any particularly pertinent examples to illustrate this point, but I do remember being scared of incurring your disapproval whenever I bought something during our first year. This did not stop me from buying things altogether, but I did end up eating a lot of rice noodles during second year, so I do think your cheapness rubbed off on me somewhat.

In general I think personal thriftiness varies according to parental values, and my parents, while generally thrifty, have never been cheap. They are the kind of people who would go to New Jersey (where sales tax is much lower) to buy my back-to-school clothes, but they would buy those clothes for me at the Gap. The prevailing lesson was never to buy what you didn't need, and never ever to buy what you couldn't afford, but if you were going to buy something, it should be good. This has become my philosophy as well, insofar as I have a philosophy about anything. If 2 sweaters from H&M = 1 sweater from Esprit, I'll take the latter. I am not broke, and I have enough sweaters to wear, so I think this philosophy is working out for me.

Your point about work ethic makes me uneasy, though, Rita. I pretty thoroughly loathe my job at the moment, and there are days when I seriously think that unemployment would be preferable. Furthermore, I'm about to quit my job to go travel in Asia for a couple months, and my only definite plan for when I return is to move back in with my parents. There is a very real possibility that it could be months before I find another job, and months after that before I can move out of my parents apartment. (In my defense, I came up with this quit-and-travel plan before the economy imploded.) Does this mean I am wildly irresponsible and lacking virtue? Am I a dissolute child, preying on the goodwill of my parents and living merely for my desires?

Sometimes I think I am, and sometimes I don't. Mostly, though, I think that money is only worth something if you spend it. I have enough money to quit my job and travel for two months, and I really want to quit my job and travel for two months, so why not? Am I possibly making a huge mistake, and could I end up extremely broke and unemployed in the long-term? Yes, but the alternative is to forgo the trip I want, in order to stay at a job I don't, so that I can keep collecting a pay-check which is sadly inadequate considering how much I dislike earning it. There is a point, I think, when too much work ethic can be a bad thing.

If I had a husband, or children, or any desire to buy a house, I'm sure I would feel very differently about all of this.